I write about my depression and anxiety a lot on here, but, generally speaking, I write about it from a positive angle; when I'm feeling optimistic. As the photos in my post for International Day of Happiness show, so much can change in a day - it's easy to write optimistically in the wake of a bad day or moment, but it's becoming more and more apparent to me that I should also write when things aren't good. Talk about how I'm feeling, in the moment.
Wednesday, 13 April 2016
What up. It's the time of the month where I take my favourite songs of the past 4 ish weeks and publicise them in a playlist and blog post for you all to judge. Just about the only thing I've ever committed to in my whole life, though, so...
Monday, 11 April 2016
Imagine you're about to walk into an important exam you've not prepared for. You meant to cram revision the night before but you fell asleep with your head on your desk and woke up half an hour before the exam was due to start. Imagine the exam was going to make or break something important to you.
That tangible feeling of dread and panic inside you? Imagine that, but every day, about things that other people don't even have to consider.
That's anxiety (most commonly, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, or GAD), but no one person with anxiety experiences it quite the same. This makes it hard to recognise, hard to come to terms with and hard to understand: despite dealing with it most days of my life since a young age, I had no idea what I was experiencing was clinical anxiety until my twenties. The more we talk about it (as well as depression and other mental illnesses) and the more widely it's understood, the less likely people are to suffer in silence.
For this reason, I thought I'd make a list of the main scenarios around which my anxiety centres itself.
Quick foreword: these stressors and stimuli aren't "scary" to a lot of people, at least not to a serious degree, and there is generally very little logic involved. Remember, though, anxiety does not have to make sense to you for it to be very, very real for me.