Thursday, 15 December 2016

41 Things I Worry About Daily

Push For Prosecco Button: 41 Daily Worries
Last year I read this post by one of my favourite word-users, Natalie Wall, on 43 things she worries about on a daily basis. I tweeted her, well over a year ago now, asking if she would mind me using the idea because it was too relatable and perfect not to. Fast forward 18 months and I'm finally re-visiting the draft to finish and post it*. Hopefully soon I won't have to start each blog post with some kind of explanation or apology for my being inconsistent and terrible at blogging, but, whatever.

*I was employed when I started this post and I'm leaving in the ~office stuff~ because it's probably hopefully gonna be relevant again one day and, man, did I nod along at my own words when I first re-read my draft.

Whether due to my anxiety or due to just... being who I am, on a daily basis I worry about:
  1. Whether my colleagues have noticed how much I'm going to the bathroom today. Do they think I have a problem? I'm drinking a lot of water, okay? It's hot. I don't have an infection or something.
  2. How much I've (not) been blogging. 
  3. Walking publicly, particularly in front of people who are sitting i.e. entering the cinema. Oh look someone is about to walk past me so naturally I am no longer capable of moving like a normal person.
  4. What will happen to my laptop when I die. Like, what if I die tomorrow and somebody leaks everything on there, screenshots, selfies and all?
  5. My cats dying. Because one day they will and I will be broken and sometimes cats get run over and that's really sad and I hope it never happens to my cats.
  6. Whether everyone can tell my hair is too clean and won't fall right and keeps getting in my face and is doing my nut in. Or...
  7. Whether my Batiste is as visible as it is claggy and gross. Is it even doing its job or just making me look grey?
  8. Whether I have a double chin at this angle. Usually I do.
  9. Everyone else, all the t ime. Empathy's a bitch; no tension or emotion gets past me unnoticed and that is QUITE the burden.
  10. How much I touch my face - dermatillomania, holla - which leads nicely onto...
  11. Spots. That are always present. On my 25-year-old face. Why?
  12. The last thing I said out loud that is now echoing in my head because nobody's spoken since. 
  13. The fact that I might honestly, really, truly never find love. It happens and it MIGHT happen to me so don't say "it won't" your reassurance is futile and also not grounded on actual fact.
  14. Drinking enough water. It's 3pm and I've only drank 500ml... am I noticeably less 'glowy'?
  15. The hidden meanings that probably (almost definitely) don't apply, ever. I know that person said [X] but what if she was Regina George-ing me and actually they mean something entirely different?
  16. Whether I'm going to regret the 249812857867 hours spent watching Netflix or scrolling through Twitter/Instagram/whatever.
  17. How quickly I liked that Instagram after it was posted.
  18. Why I get SO hot. Is it a disease I don't know about? People go undiagnosed with stuff for years, don't they? Related:
  19. Whether I'll arrive at [place] sweating like a maniac. What if everyone notices?
  20. Whether I'm getting a headache. Usually I am.
  21. Whether I'm getting a cold. Usually I am.
  22. Forgetting to put on perfume. DO I SMELL. 
  23. That this car might just crash. Like, right now, just crash. It happens. Might die.
  24. Why I've eaten so much today. Am I mysteriously pregnant? Is it diabetes?
  25. Why I've barely eaten today.
  26. What am I going to do about money? Like, in general, but really. What am I going to do career-wise? What if I never figure out what to "do with my life"? Will I ever find a way to earn enough money to live comfortably? Will anyone ever hire me?
  27. Why [friend] hasn't replied... are they okay? Are they angry? What did I do, should I apologise? ARE THEY DEAD? Did I just make my friend's death about me?
  28. What's going to jump out at me when I walk upstairs.
  29. Whether that black thing that just caught my eye is a spider.
  30. Whether I'll make it on time (I never make it on time).
  31. How my mouth looks when I talk.
  32. How much I'm talking.
  33. Why do I have [ailment]? Maybe I'm [X] intolerant?
  34. Whether I sent that email to the right person.
  35. Whether people will see the tweet I just favourited and think I'm a loser.
  36. Whether people will see the blogger chat I'm taking part in and think I'm a loser.
  37. Whether people will see anything ever on social media or anywhere else ever and think I'm a loser.
  38. Whether I'm going to be able to ascend/descend these public stairs without messing it up.
  39. Why that person outside my window is crying/screaming. Are they just drunk or are they being attacked? Should I call the police or just continue my futile staring-outside-into-the-darkness bit?
  40. Whether I've accidentally eaten animal products at any stage today.
  41. What people are going to think about this list. Will they start noticing things I'm insecure about? What if that makes me more insecure about them? Lol, me.

And, you guys, I could go on. Just me?

Please tell me about some of your neuroses so I don't feel so alone in this.

Friday, 14 October 2016

Reading, Lately: 5 Book Reviews

Reading, Lately: 5 Book Reviews (Book Pile)
It's super weird that I've never reviewed books on my blog before, because guys: I love to read. I love books. I could talk about books all day. I thought it was high time I got some book-related content up on ALG, so I've started with some reviews of the books I've read recently.

A few things:

Firstly, I like mini book reviews where a brief synopsis is included before the review rather than clumsily trying to avoid spoilers while writing my own summary, so that's the format I'm going for. Skip the italics if you don't like to know too much about a book before you read it.

Secondly, a friend of mine recently got his knickers in a twist about decimals in numerical scores ("just rate out of 100 if that's what you need"), so I'm restricting myself to the standard 5-star scoring system and I'm not allowed any half stars. Which is difficult.

Thirdly, I don't have photos of all of the books in this post because one is my sister's and one I lent to a friend. Forgive me.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Thursday, 13 October 2016

You Have Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

Monday was World Mental Health Day, and while I didn't think I was up for blogging, I ended up writing a pretty long tweet thread and a hefty status on Facebook, too. Thought I'd publish the status on my blog as well because the message is important. No frills, no photos, just copy and paste. Take some time to care for yourself today, pals.

You can't see our illnesses, but that doesn't mean they aren't real, awful and often debilitating. The impact on our lives is huge, we are battling with our own minds most days. We are tired. And we're tired of being dismissed and discriminated against just because our illnesses are invisible.

Three weeks ago I went to a doctor because my depression and anxiety have got a lot worse since the last time I was getting medical help. My GP was ignorant, dismissive and uncaring. After telling him that most days I can't leave the flat, I was asked if I'd tried "going for a walk" to improve my mental health. Spoiler, educated doctor: if and when I am ABLE to “go for a walk”, sometimes my mood will improve, other times it won’t.

Thursday, 8 September 2016

10 Little Things For Down Days

Bookshelf (10 Little Pick Me Ups for Down Days)

I'm spending a lot of time on my own lately, dealing with suffocating cabin fever and battling anxiety in a frustrating vicious cycle. At times like this, it's easy to get into a bit of a rut, so I'm trying to focus on doing at least something good for the soul each day, if and when I am able.

Sure, none of these things are exactly revolutionary but this post can serve as a reminder - probably more for me - that a) it is possible to blog something even at your lowest and b) when they are possible, the little things do actually make a difference so go and shower right now.

Talking to friends and family aside, here's the things I do when I'm feeling a bit rubbish - and leaving the house isn't an option - to get myself out of my downward spiral:

Friday, 5 August 2016

ALG July/August Playlist (ft Stranger Things Soundtrack)

ALG July/August Playlist


Over lunch recently, ZoĆ« and I were discussing playlist blog posts and how it seems like nobody cares, when she said that they aren't about that; they're self-indulgent. I couldn't agree more: it's nice to spend some time each month (or, you know, every two months...) being completely present in the music I'm listening to and putting together the perfect assembly of tracks to represent the last 30 (ahem, 60) days.

I did a Twitter poll on this because I was curious, and the "score" at time of writing is extremely mixed...

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

"50 Things To Teach Your Daughters": An Edit

"50 Things To Teach Your Daughters": An Edit (Beyonce, Ivy Blue)


Mum,

You sent me the link to a post on Facebook (Dawn French's fan page, to be precise) entitled "50 Things To Teach Your Daughters" and I so appreciate the gesture, but I was a bit nervous to even open it because I suspected--rightly--that I'd find it, y'know, problematic.

I know sometimes you think that I'm just looking for things to be annoyed about, but you have to understand that I care about the "small things" because they are part of a bigger picture; they help make up the foundations of bigger, more damaging problems. These things are important to me not because I'm a contrarian, but because they are important.

I bolded the ones I agree with (30.5/50 - see? I'm a reasonable person) and left some without comment because they were weird or simply hard to comment on.
Hope it makes sense to you!
P.S. Dawn almost definitely did not write it herself, sorry to break it to you. In fact, I think I found the original on Meraki Lane here.

P.P.S. I know you're a Christian, so some of these things--namely, the ones about sex--might not fit your beliefs; it's the overall message that's important, though, as I'm sure you'll understand!

P.P.P.S these aren't, like, the lessons I personally would want to teach my daughter... just my edits. Although thanks for the content inspo!
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